Embracing the title -

Many years ago I sat next to Tony Deblase in an airport lounge after a Living in Leather Conference in Chicago, my sir by my side. Tony and my sir spoke for a while quietly in hushed tones. Suddenly, Tony turned to me and asked, "Have you ever thought of running for a Drummer title?"

"No, Sir," I replied. "I am not a titleholder type," I added in clarification.

His retort was simple and direct, "Think about it."

In the ensuing years, I thought about it. I thought about it while I was on the road touring with musical theatre. I thought about it while I was going from city to city teaching movement at colleges and dance studios. And I thought about it as I prepared to return to school for the third time near the end of the nineties.

Finally, I stopped thinking about it entirely. Over the years, people stopped asking me to run for a title. No one even suggested it. I had convinced everyone that I was a non-title type. Indeed, I was far too busy professionally to dedicate the time needed for such a task.

Two years ago, to the shock of my partner and to myself, I began thinking about running for Northwest LeatherSir. I saw things in the community that concerned me. I saw men donning leather and immediately claiming to be sirs. I saw boys putting themselves at risk. I witnessed political intrigues and gossip draining energy from the community that I loved. I decided that I could make the most difference if I stepped up and ran for a title.

During the last eleven months I believe that I have made a difference. My influence has been felt, not so much because of the things I say, but rather, because of the things I do from day to day. In short, the title has not been as much a spotlight as a follow spot. What I do matters whether shopping in casual clothes, in a suit at work, or in full Gear. People watch. They observe the protocols my boys keep 24/7 when they are with me. They know that I will go to great lengths for my boys, that I believe in them.

Today I travel to San Francisco to compete in International LeatherSIR. The road to this point has been interesting, not always the most direct one to the observer but quite direct from my vantage point.

In spite of the weeks of preparation, my head feels quite empty. But my heart is very much alive, the part of a sir that is foundational to all that we do in Leather.

Happy ILSb and Dore Alley Weekend!